The one where we choose wrong

I remember when I was in School, especially in the 12th grade, the teachers wouldn't stop saying 'enjoy your life,these carefree days, no responsibilities etc' almost scared us, some practically advised us against their tradition of marriage, and said study all you want before you get married. Marriage in short was not looked at a positive thing, it was the marking of the end of a womans life for herself and a start of endless sacrifices and disappointment.

But anyway, My topic is not marriage, my topic is the advice. I used to think even then, why would you want to be carefree, I wanted more responsibility, more control over my life, and as far as I remember all the girls around me were too looking for the chance to just be themselves and explore the world on their own terms .

And unfortunately today when I meet some married ladies, few well into their late twenties complain and wish to be little kids, playing around, having no responsibility, I think "What ?!@#$@# are you crazy?" who would want to go back to living in uniforms, going through crappy exams whose importance was  exaggerated?". I feel smarter now, wiser, independent happy, content, and optimistic, now my life is not what the teacher draws a picture of, Now I get to paint my own life, and take in whatever direction I want to, most importantly because I can.

And I refuse to buy excuses that restrict ones ability to make decisions and choices, we're adults, laws,religion, everything permits us to do what we want. Some actually don't want to accept the fact that chosing to buy a certain car is their choice, marrying a certain girl/guy is their
choice, no one physically gets you to do anything. And if it does happen that's your fault too. (I am not talking about uncertain crimes here).

 I wonder why some people still think once you have kids your life's over, I take it as an opportunity to give someone else a better experience than yours at everything in life. From games, to toys, to school years, to adolescence, what could be better than making some one else' life more fun, and more creative.?! What could be better than having this power itself?

I personally believe if after you're an adult, regardless of being married or unmarried, you want the days where you had no responsibility, you are basically choosing to be irresponsible, and stupid. Because no man in his right mind would not want to live his age, and instead try to want what they can't  and shouldn't have.

This is my point of view, One should embrace life in all it's glory and accept what age and destiny brings our way , it's the only way to happiness and contentment, longing for what you don't have is longing for what's not good for you...

The grass looks greener on the other side because you CHOSE to be dumb enough to not notice the beauty on the one you tread!

The one where im confused

Relationships are complicated. We all know that when we get into one, delibrately or forcably.

At times the situation gets such that your rights as a wife/husband go out the window. Thats when it gets irritating, because it's truthfully going in the unfair direction.

And what to do, is just something very difficult to comprehend. You can't force anyone to do anything, especially feel a certain way, or change certain things. Heck you can't force anyone to do anything!.

So what is the solution?, or is there one?...Is patience the answer? or is it separation?.

would second guessing and should've would've could've be of any help?.

Does anyone know the answer to this?. Till when should one be waiting it out, waiting for a realisation to coe over their partner, what cna be done when one doesn't want to hear?.

Nothing perhaps.

The one where it's all materialistic

Its important to not get drawn towards the worldly life. The glitters and the fun, because it's useless. And sometimes, some really bad times you do become a patient of this epidemic. People change their beliefs chasing the glamor, some lose friends and family trying to follow the right path because of lack acceptance from the materialistic. But the fact of the matter remains that we're all answerable for our own decisions and freewill implementation.

What maybe crazy to me, maybe normal to you, what maybe the truth maybe extreme to you. The divide is necessary to appreciate the importance of the good over bad.It is essential to realise this and take the next step in the right direction. I bar anyone of respect if they do not practice what they know is the truth. I do not feel it's necessary to keep tradition alive that is harmful to the religion. I ignore those who think they know more than they do. I'm angered by those who repeat the same mistakes again and again and don't accept their fault.

Ego and age are two different issues but when combined become the most disastrous of characteristics one can posses, especially if it's being used in the negative manner.

Now while discussing worldly and avoiding the worldly you may become the worldly. Somewhere in the religion there is satisfaction which can be termed as selfish and worldly even if it is for a religious cause. It is a very delicate issues, one that may have no solution but sacrifice from the one who is struggling the most.

Life is complicated, religion uncomplicated it, non practicing theists complicate it again, and practicing try to uncomplicate it again. The cycle goes on and I don't believe a day on earth goes by without one person trying to make sense of it all.

The one where you realise how old you are

Ever been in a situation where you figured out you were either stuck in time or just gone way ahead of it?.

Okay I may have left the imagination too open for confusion here. I am talking about age, I am talking about how one feels with regards to the number that represents their age.I have been in both sides in this scenario. There have been times I realised I'm unreasonably stuck in the bubble of a high school girl and then I've felt encased by the hardships of life making me feel like I'm 30.

But the beauty of both these experiences has been that I learned a lot about life and what age brings to it. One can never know what they should or shouldn't be doing at a certain age.
Because if you were to set out on a journey observing various people and their status through the ages of their lives you'd be heavily confused.

In the world we're living in now, 50 year olds are uneducated, 21 year olds are billionaires, 40 year old women are still procrastinating about having a child, 16 year olds are having 2 babies. It's all just too complicated to find normalcy in.

But the only thing I believe one could do, is try to be happy no matter what the number is. And that would automatically elevate the quality of your life, which is more important than the length of it. Doesn't matter if you live till you're only 20 or 30 if you've lived your life to the fullest in terms of peace, happiness and love, you've done your age justice.

And hence I believe the only criteria for one to know how they should feel at any age should depend solely on how they're making use of every second. And how satisfied they are, and most importantly how ready they are for death.

The one where Facebook is analysed

Recently on some show on TV I heard the host say that facebook is leading people into depression. This is due to comparison of ones life with that of friends and family via facebook.

Now, one can understand this scenario by observing the age old obsession of civilians with celebrities. Seeing their photographs, obsessed with the 'Kodak moments', envying their life through their pictures, believing that a photo is the reality of their life. When obviously it's not, even though many of us believe so, we do end up, comparing our lives to that of celebrities, who themselves are not the most satisfied people on earth.

I understand the facebook depression phenomenon in the same light. Pictures of friends years after school with a huge group of new friends, a new partner, a new life, all spoken through these photos very proudly displayed in their profile. It doesn't just end there, one is unconsciously forced to also regularly update their profile with pics to show that they too have a life. This also leads to obsessive photo taking, and the anxiousness to upload them before anyone else, or to update their friends asap. Then comes the comparing every small detail of life with that of others. People who're not that into photo taking are now compelled to because of facebook. In fact I'm sure many may not even touch their cams for a month if it weren't to update others on their lives.

This photo screening obsession may be the cause of depression for some for others it may just be the info, that someone they knew is now richer than they are, or seemingly happier than they are, ones hopes and once future plans not coming true etc.

As natural as it is for one to compare and judge others, it's not healthy.obviously, as fun and useful as it is, facebook is not any angel from the sky. We humans fail to understand and realise the effect of certain things on our mental health until it's too late.

Lets be happy facebooking, and use it for what it is. The reality of everyones life is known only by them, everything else is a facade.

The one where there's Fire

When was the last time you felt the fire in you to do something?

I didn't realise I had lost it till I found it again. It's amazing how it got lost in the conundrum of making life, keeping up with time, thinking ahead, too ahead sometimes.

I believe as human beings; who were on fire in their youth to conquer the world, may lose their heat over time because they just get thrown into the monotony of life.

I've discovered that forcing yourself to try something new will make all the difference. It's not the best feeling in the world to sit and look back at your school days and say 'aaah what an amazing person I was, so carefree, risk taking, always living in the moment.'

The fact is the moment never went anywhere, we lost our sense of feeling of it!. And as days go by and as I ignite my soul and brain, I feel like I'm in school, wearing my prefect badge, running around getting things done, and never to pass in my head is the thought of this moment passing.....

 

The one where Im in my own world of fashion

It's been long, and even though the world has moved on, I seem to be stuck in my own world of fashion.

Who knew the colours were going to pop so bright this summer. I seem to repel that craziness. However, it hasn't always been this way. I love how the fashion changes with season. This time, I wan't to dwell in the darkness of winter and avoid all colour.

Going crazy over studded things, bags, shoes, clothes!. Like always, the edginess has to be that pronounced for me!. Loving the deep blues, reds, blacks.

I'm also over watching all the heavy coats and knits in gossip girl!. Get over it all already, and really wished Blaires work wardrobe would be different from how it always was. I wish to see her in pant suits or skirts suits for that matter. Blair necessities!

After watching a video of my favorite youtube makeup/fashion guru lollipop26. I got inspired to focus on myself. I'm going to start making a list of things I really want for my wardrobe, so that I feel I'm not losing myself to motherhood. That way, when I do get a chance to step ou tof the house, or have enough cash to splurge I'm going to be right in there, getting what right!.

On the more positive note, I'm getting attracted to jewelry and good quality leather bags. I love my Esbeda bag, now Im going to focus on more structured bags that have a good handle to sling it on my forearm. Just want to get into the quality aspect of my life.

Colours for me, not now. Will have to hold that trend till later!

The one with the to-do list

Oh how I love to research, to read, read and know more. However, lately I've been feeling a little illeterate. It's when you get exposed to the world and other people and their knowledge that you realize, you're living in a bubble of ignorant youth. But now I've decided it's time to tap on the intelligent me. After months of sitting at home and just being plain uninspired, I'm glad to announce that I will be taking up the task of hardcore information development.

I can't wait to get my own lappy, it's convenient for my kinda lifestyle. But that's not stopping me from making the list of information conquering.

Ranging from politics to health, from documentaries to books, from history to current world, interesting to dull. I shall spare none. So here's to a more informed me.

Let the crusade begin.

The one where its a shock

Being born and brought up in Dubai

Shifting to Hyderabad after wedding

Equals 

MAJOR CULTURE SHOCK

The one where religion is manipulated

'I am a good human being, I am on my death bed,  I have been nothing but kind to people, and strived in the path of humanity. In my own little world, the people called me someone from the heaven, someone with a heart of gold. I have now, just now come to knowledge of god. I do not have the time, nor the strength to find out more about him, read the books, listen to lectures, etc. Will I not go to heaven?.'

It would sound unfair if we'd be on any side of the argument, now wouldn't it. The best way, to deal, is to leave the decision to Him. Because the creator knows of what we would never know. The intention.
A person unaware, ignorant, has not sinned, however a person knowingly ignoring has. Now when I say knowingly ignored, I mean to chose what one wants over what one should, in terms of learning or practicing or both.

The tiny fictional story I typed on top, is sometimes used by people, to get their way. Let me explain; Some argue, will that person on her death bed not go to heaven?...she doesn't know God, or what He preached, but did more or less the same. They use this, to make right their way of life, which according to them, is filled with holiness, but not quite the kind the holy book wants. So their argument is, if she hasn't acknowledged god, and is still not going to hell, then why would I?. What they miss out on, is that she wasn't aware. You were. She got to her state without knowledge you did out of choice. To not chose god, and to not know go are 2 very different things.

These people, may try to justify their lives as heaven worthy through these arguments. But their attitude has an effect on the general public. The people too start to think the same way. Not analysing the logic, just following in the foot steps of another person. Now this may not sound so significant, but it is, if that person is a celebrity, political leader, or the like. Because they play a role, and their views influence the people. This will get into a whole different topic. However, the aim is to bring the potential effect of this ideology into perspective.

A similar ideology, is that I'm doing my best. I'm doing everything. The acceptance of ones actions of the day being of utmost perfection, leads one to believe they have the margin to do sins. When one starts to believe, that they're fulfilling all their religious responsibilities, and they have nothing more to attain, they can indulge in a bit of other things. This may sound like an excuse we try to give ourselves, but the fact of the matter is that, a religion would be baseless, if there was an end to it. If a mere human being can attain all the objectives of his/her religion, there will be no reason to stick to it. A human being is programmed to want to succeed, and move forward. Just as one would move on to wrong acts, with the excuse in discussion. So, if your religion, seems to be making you feel you've attained all that you can, then consider changing it.

Knowledge has no end, similarly nor does a true religion. A religion is bigger than the human, because it's made by god- the manufacturer of the humans. No amount of excuses, or manipulative arguments can change that. If one chooses to make their own religion, kind of like sugar, spice and everything nice, they're only fooling themselves, and are showing their lack of knowledge and understanding. Surely what sounds good on face, doesn't mean it's right.

Stand up for what's right and not what you would like to be right. Where's the fun in that?.

The one with the biggest lesson

When I lost my son last year, The only thought that made me get through it was-I did my best. I did all I could to have a clean slate on my part, I tried my best to fulfill all my religious responsibilities towards him. And that was the biggest lesson of my life.

Now when I have my lovely daughter with me, I keep reminding myself, that no matter what happens, in the end of the day what matters is how much effort I put to fulfill my responsibilities. And that idea as a whole can make our lives on earth full of pleasure and satisfaction. 

When everything will go away, we will be in pain, denial, maybe even regret. And doing our best when we have everything, will make us get through it all, with ease.There is really no excuse, Safdar didn’t even come into the world to live, it was the responsibility I bore when he was in me. And that’s a lesson, for all of us, there is no excuse, no excuse of age, or pressure, or anything. We’ve got to do what we’ve got to do.

To live a satisfied life before and after death, this should be our only aim, to do our best and please our lord.

The one where its all deperate.

Have you ever been so desperate for time, that you've fantasized about some of it all to yourself. I guess that's what happens when you have a baby. They soak away time from your life like a sponge. Maybe that's why god made them so innocent looking and cute. So that they can instantly also be forgiven.

Anyway, I will proceed by clearing any misconceptions you may have about me hating children. They're a blessing. I'm focusing on a whole different aspect of life.

I feel women who don't have sisters get very lonely when their friends are not around. For a woman that's not healthy, we speak our way to healthy living and a light heart. And I truly think the moment we don't hear ourselves, ramble out about our lives and worries etc, we don't get a good perspective on life. I think it's crucial for us to unload, every now and then. Or else it would lead to, aimlessness and improper decision making. Living in the spur of the moment is a very immature ideology, one that sounds great, but is quite the opposite.

It's important to have time to reflect. Or use whatever time we do get, to reflect. Reflect on where life is, and where it's taking us and where we'd want to be. I often feel the feeling of losing out on allot of opportunities makes us just want to achieve then as soon as possible, when actually they wouldn't make much sense now. When one is young, their priorities are different, and so are the lists of aims. And as we grow, it's important to also grow out of these aims, and focus on only what's crucial. On that which; doesn't compromise the present.  And for this we need to reflect. We need to undertake a life restructuring process. It's better to reflect and think than regret later.

We as human beings don't realize, we had the capability to not commit the mistakes we did. We take our free time for granted, and hurry certain things up. The epidemic of making life so busy that, even a vacation becomes more or less like an errand on the calender to be performed.  We don't enjoy the fruits of our hard-work. Instead, pile our few minutes with more work as soon as we get them. And label it as not wasting time. I believe time is wasted more when it's not used to fantasize about heaven, about our future, reflect on our way of life and how to improve it. So that everyday ends with pleasure and not exhaustion. This will also lead to a more fulfilling life. Instead of trying the first thing that pops into our heads.

In a nut shell, we need to emerge out of our 'busy lives', take time out to reflect and fantasize just a bit, so as to attain our lifes potential.

the one where the elders are too happy

Have you ever screamed from on top of the mountain?. But nobody heard. No let me correct that, everyone heard, understood, but ignored.

Have you ever gone out of your way to make people realize something?. And then wondered why?
It amazes me; the capacity people have to stick to their crap, even when it's doing no good. People have gotten used to regretting later, and still not trying to understand where they went wrong. I've heard; if the older you get the wiser you become, then why is it that the biggest blunders are made by the old?

It's not just that trait that's significant, it's also the capacity to repeat them and have others follow too.Not everyone needs to make mistakes to learn, if you've got a brain, you'll reflect on the lives of others and learn many more lessons. That makes one wiser, not age. Age can sometimes make you arrogant, I believe a good elder person is the one who's always in touch with the younger. The one who's curious to know and understand the world that's in front of him. Living in your own bubble of denial won't get anyone anywhere.

Live and let live people!