The one where I am a SAHM

It's been long but there have been a lot of thoughts and insights and education!. I'm doing my B.Sc in psycho, via distance edu from university of madras, and want to give a shout out to all SAHMs out there, or even young girls who're studying after marriage. Yes' it's hell difficult, especially when you have a kid! (like I do), and stick to your education, for yourself more than anyone else.

I'm in my second year, and so far loving the experience of following my passion of studying, I as of now aim to P.hD in psycho and also get into educational psychology. I am one of those who loves to dream, I think it's important to stimulate your mind for yourself, this not only is an exciting venture it also helps you prioristise your life for the best.

Especially as new moms or even moms with experience we are somewhere pressured to fit into a cliche of the definition, but I say "BLAH", your life's yours and no one knows it like you do. And for being a good mom/wife you need to first take care of your interests so that you're at peace.

So all of you out there, who have no time 'cos you have kids/ a kid. Chill it's not that difficult. Being a stay at home mom is a choice we make because we love our families and want to raise them well!...

The one where we choose wrong

I remember when I was in School, especially in the 12th grade, the teachers wouldn't stop saying 'enjoy your life,these carefree days, no responsibilities etc' almost scared us, some practically advised us against their tradition of marriage, and said study all you want before you get married. Marriage in short was not looked at a positive thing, it was the marking of the end of a womans life for herself and a start of endless sacrifices and disappointment.

But anyway, My topic is not marriage, my topic is the advice. I used to think even then, why would you want to be carefree, I wanted more responsibility, more control over my life, and as far as I remember all the girls around me were too looking for the chance to just be themselves and explore the world on their own terms .

And unfortunately today when I meet some married ladies, few well into their late twenties complain and wish to be little kids, playing around, having no responsibility, I think "What ?!@#$@# are you crazy?" who would want to go back to living in uniforms, going through crappy exams whose importance was  exaggerated?". I feel smarter now, wiser, independent happy, content, and optimistic, now my life is not what the teacher draws a picture of, Now I get to paint my own life, and take in whatever direction I want to, most importantly because I can.

And I refuse to buy excuses that restrict ones ability to make decisions and choices, we're adults, laws,religion, everything permits us to do what we want. Some actually don't want to accept the fact that chosing to buy a certain car is their choice, marrying a certain girl/guy is their
choice, no one physically gets you to do anything. And if it does happen that's your fault too. (I am not talking about uncertain crimes here).

 I wonder why some people still think once you have kids your life's over, I take it as an opportunity to give someone else a better experience than yours at everything in life. From games, to toys, to school years, to adolescence, what could be better than making some one else' life more fun, and more creative.?! What could be better than having this power itself?

I personally believe if after you're an adult, regardless of being married or unmarried, you want the days where you had no responsibility, you are basically choosing to be irresponsible, and stupid. Because no man in his right mind would not want to live his age, and instead try to want what they can't  and shouldn't have.

This is my point of view, One should embrace life in all it's glory and accept what age and destiny brings our way , it's the only way to happiness and contentment, longing for what you don't have is longing for what's not good for you...

The grass looks greener on the other side because you CHOSE to be dumb enough to not notice the beauty on the one you tread!

The one where im confused

Relationships are complicated. We all know that when we get into one, delibrately or forcably.

At times the situation gets such that your rights as a wife/husband go out the window. Thats when it gets irritating, because it's truthfully going in the unfair direction.

And what to do, is just something very difficult to comprehend. You can't force anyone to do anything, especially feel a certain way, or change certain things. Heck you can't force anyone to do anything!.

So what is the solution?, or is there one?...Is patience the answer? or is it separation?.

would second guessing and should've would've could've be of any help?.

Does anyone know the answer to this?. Till when should one be waiting it out, waiting for a realisation to coe over their partner, what cna be done when one doesn't want to hear?.

Nothing perhaps.

The one where it's all materialistic

Its important to not get drawn towards the worldly life. The glitters and the fun, because it's useless. And sometimes, some really bad times you do become a patient of this epidemic. People change their beliefs chasing the glamor, some lose friends and family trying to follow the right path because of lack acceptance from the materialistic. But the fact of the matter remains that we're all answerable for our own decisions and freewill implementation.

What maybe crazy to me, maybe normal to you, what maybe the truth maybe extreme to you. The divide is necessary to appreciate the importance of the good over bad.It is essential to realise this and take the next step in the right direction. I bar anyone of respect if they do not practice what they know is the truth. I do not feel it's necessary to keep tradition alive that is harmful to the religion. I ignore those who think they know more than they do. I'm angered by those who repeat the same mistakes again and again and don't accept their fault.

Ego and age are two different issues but when combined become the most disastrous of characteristics one can posses, especially if it's being used in the negative manner.

Now while discussing worldly and avoiding the worldly you may become the worldly. Somewhere in the religion there is satisfaction which can be termed as selfish and worldly even if it is for a religious cause. It is a very delicate issues, one that may have no solution but sacrifice from the one who is struggling the most.

Life is complicated, religion uncomplicated it, non practicing theists complicate it again, and practicing try to uncomplicate it again. The cycle goes on and I don't believe a day on earth goes by without one person trying to make sense of it all.

The one where you realise how old you are

Ever been in a situation where you figured out you were either stuck in time or just gone way ahead of it?.

Okay I may have left the imagination too open for confusion here. I am talking about age, I am talking about how one feels with regards to the number that represents their age.I have been in both sides in this scenario. There have been times I realised I'm unreasonably stuck in the bubble of a high school girl and then I've felt encased by the hardships of life making me feel like I'm 30.

But the beauty of both these experiences has been that I learned a lot about life and what age brings to it. One can never know what they should or shouldn't be doing at a certain age.
Because if you were to set out on a journey observing various people and their status through the ages of their lives you'd be heavily confused.

In the world we're living in now, 50 year olds are uneducated, 21 year olds are billionaires, 40 year old women are still procrastinating about having a child, 16 year olds are having 2 babies. It's all just too complicated to find normalcy in.

But the only thing I believe one could do, is try to be happy no matter what the number is. And that would automatically elevate the quality of your life, which is more important than the length of it. Doesn't matter if you live till you're only 20 or 30 if you've lived your life to the fullest in terms of peace, happiness and love, you've done your age justice.

And hence I believe the only criteria for one to know how they should feel at any age should depend solely on how they're making use of every second. And how satisfied they are, and most importantly how ready they are for death.

The one where Facebook is analysed

Recently on some show on TV I heard the host say that facebook is leading people into depression. This is due to comparison of ones life with that of friends and family via facebook.

Now, one can understand this scenario by observing the age old obsession of civilians with celebrities. Seeing their photographs, obsessed with the 'Kodak moments', envying their life through their pictures, believing that a photo is the reality of their life. When obviously it's not, even though many of us believe so, we do end up, comparing our lives to that of celebrities, who themselves are not the most satisfied people on earth.

I understand the facebook depression phenomenon in the same light. Pictures of friends years after school with a huge group of new friends, a new partner, a new life, all spoken through these photos very proudly displayed in their profile. It doesn't just end there, one is unconsciously forced to also regularly update their profile with pics to show that they too have a life. This also leads to obsessive photo taking, and the anxiousness to upload them before anyone else, or to update their friends asap. Then comes the comparing every small detail of life with that of others. People who're not that into photo taking are now compelled to because of facebook. In fact I'm sure many may not even touch their cams for a month if it weren't to update others on their lives.

This photo screening obsession may be the cause of depression for some for others it may just be the info, that someone they knew is now richer than they are, or seemingly happier than they are, ones hopes and once future plans not coming true etc.

As natural as it is for one to compare and judge others, it's not healthy.obviously, as fun and useful as it is, facebook is not any angel from the sky. We humans fail to understand and realise the effect of certain things on our mental health until it's too late.

Lets be happy facebooking, and use it for what it is. The reality of everyones life is known only by them, everything else is a facade.

The one where there's Fire

When was the last time you felt the fire in you to do something?

I didn't realise I had lost it till I found it again. It's amazing how it got lost in the conundrum of making life, keeping up with time, thinking ahead, too ahead sometimes.

I believe as human beings; who were on fire in their youth to conquer the world, may lose their heat over time because they just get thrown into the monotony of life.

I've discovered that forcing yourself to try something new will make all the difference. It's not the best feeling in the world to sit and look back at your school days and say 'aaah what an amazing person I was, so carefree, risk taking, always living in the moment.'

The fact is the moment never went anywhere, we lost our sense of feeling of it!. And as days go by and as I ignite my soul and brain, I feel like I'm in school, wearing my prefect badge, running around getting things done, and never to pass in my head is the thought of this moment passing.....